MNS - Mentally N-ill Sena

Note : This post does not intend to hurt or insult Maharashtrians. It is only an attempt to scoff at the absurdity of MNS in trying to push their agenda. I whole-heartedly respect every human and am proud to be an Indian (HINDUSTANI!) and respect every Indian, wherever (s)he hails from. Only after my identity of an Indian, can I claim to be part of any state in India.

Imagine a scenario: Ponting takes the field in the mysteriously titled Honour Series (The what ?!. Courtesy:Times Now) or the still more bizarre Grudge Series(The what what ?!, courtesy:Headlines Today) in the final ODI in Mumbai tomorrow. Imagine the contradictorily paradoxical coincidence of Ponting at the press conference with Dhoni. Ponting, speaking in Marathi !?! duh ! MNS workers wielding swords and threatening the Aussie cricket captain at the post match podium - "We don't even care what happens to non-Marathis being assaulted in Australia. But while in India, and that too in Maharashtra's capital, you better be talking in Marathi. We have recorded your on-field conversations. They were in English. How dare you not learn Marathi and set foot on our proud Marathi land ?!" Ponting blinks - "?!?!"

Imagine a scenario: Call Center and BPO firms in Mumbai and Pune. MNS workers would be at the office premises, shouting slogans - "We demand all call centers be shut until the calls are answered in Marathi!". All the employees would be stunned and scratching their heads. But, the justification could well neigh be, more employment opportunities. Don't get it ? Employ a Marathi translator (re-director ?) for every Call Center employee.

Wait. Should the voices on the other side of a call also be in Marathi ?! I wonder. More technological advances to be ushered in. When a caller, calls a number which is at that moment in Maharashtra, owing to pressure from MNS, the incoming voice data service provider should translate the language in the air waves into Marathi and transmit to the receiver ! Language support should be enabled, even if the call is from a tribal land in Somalia. Wow, more employment opportunities. Courtesy, MNS !
Oops, BTW if you are at a cafe' IN MAHARASHTRA and even by the remotest of chances have opened this link, please have Marathi aided specs, so that what you read transforms magically into Marathi and you can read it ! More employment for ophthalmologists ! Look at the advancement for science !

To add, MNS will take on Mother Nature as well ! Guess how ? Now that a cyclone will hit the coast of Mumbai in a day, MNS would come out and protest against the cyclone - "Hit us in Marathi!". Before I forget, I am not quite sure if the name of the cyclone is in Marathi. If someone by chance reads this post, please tell me if "Phyan" is in Marathi. Else, MNS will have more voice. MNS would now protest - "When the cyclone hits Mumbai, it should be given a Marathi name! We cannot accept Phyan, since it is not a Marathi name!".

I just wonder. If people are stuck in the cyclone, they probably should shout -"Help" in Marathi ! Lest no help come from any quarters. Imagine, a person stuck in the cyclone, crying for help. Shouting - "Help, help" in a non-marathi language. An MNS supporter, stands beside and shouts slogans saying - "You better be shouting for help in Marathi! Until then, we will see you just drown to death!". I just hope MNS does have some humanity left and this never ever happens!

More to follow after the next insane act of MNS. Abu Azmi for the moment has oathfully taken his cabinet position in the Maharashtra Assembly.