May 30, 2007

A paradox called BCCI

May 30, 2007 Posted by Vijay No comments
Rahul Dravid recently raised concerns of the crammed international schedule of Indian Cricket Team. the sub continental teams have always been prone to injuries, and it is not an unknown fact that this is more so due to the lack of athleticism amongst these teams. On top of this, if the schedule itself for the team gets jam packed, it becomes much more difficult to field the best team on the field. Even otherwise, with the best team on field India struggles to put up respectable performances. With injuries to major players, especially bowlers this becomes doubly difficult.

The Indian team is jamp packed with matches. Matches in Ireland against South Africa, followed by a one off match against Pakistan. Then the tour of England, followed by the ICC Twenty/20 World Championship in South Africa. Wait, its not over. Even I am taking a break, because this will be followed by a 7 match ODI series with Australia at home, then a tour of Pakistan with 3 Tests and 5 ODIs, and finally the tour of Austraila which would involve 4 tests and an ODI tri-series. Phew, If writing this down is difficult, one can imagine how tough it can be on the players.

On the one hand the BCCI re-iterates that the schedule is not crammed, on the other it has suggested that an extra tour game before the tour of Australia is not possible to be shceduled due to lack of time ! How ridiculously contradictory can any sporting organisaction can be ? It is well known that Indian teams anyway struggle abroad. If the Indian team does want to try and put in a better performance with extra tour games, that too is not being allowed ! Really, there is only one way for Indian Cricket in this way. Down !

May 25, 2007

So Much For Saunf ..

May 25, 2007 Posted by Vijay , 1 comment
Saunf, the mouth freshener. Saunf, the natural digestive herb. Its become common practise across Indian hotels to provide bowls of Saunf to apparently calm the bowels of the customers. Though customers do crib about the alarming prices in good places to eat at, it now seems as an avengeful act when saunf is placed for free consumption.

At my office cafeteria, I have noticed atleast two instances when the tender palm of a female employee clasped the digestive enzyme in its physical existence in full capacity. My friend and I wondered whether that would serve as her dinner for the day. This is more so with the minted/sweetened saunf. Saunf is Aniseed/Fennel seeds, which are consumed after meals. But the customers at hotels vent their anger (I know its only exaggeration and not the truth) and avenge the huge bill amount by consuming saunf in spoons (and not spoon).

I don't wish to be a hypocrite. So I do admit I have done the same. But a palmful of saunf for the bowel ? Never. But hey, I do realise 2 spoonfuls is almost the same as a palmful anyway. So maybe, I have been the culprit at times. But I have not been so blatant as to carry a palmful around for long. Leaving aside the craze for saunf, it is indeed used as a fragrant spice to flavour pickles, chutneys and curries. Even confectioneries have piggybacked on its craze by coming up with saunf flavoured candies too.

N.B. Our caterers have decided to serve saunf as a separate meal at our cafeteria. (Of course I am kidding !!)

May 16, 2007

For Ur Co-et-al Kama

May 16, 2007 Posted by Vijay , 2 comments
Warning : Some of the words/sentences maybe offensive to some readers. Reader discretion is advised. No offense intended.

Look no step further, and read the Co-et-al as it is meant to be, for when you wish to abbreviate the topic of the post, it is all too obvious what it stands for.

Fumble, Fondle
Tumble, Cuddle
Snuggle, Meddle

Use F**K For Ur Co-et-al Kama !

In 5 years time, there will be a complete package for any couple who want to marry. Right from providing matrimonial service, to the point of procreation, all inclusive package deals. Just Rs. 2 lakhs. * Conditions Apply. I will come to the conditions part real soon.

I came across an article in Yahoo News about Indian Wedding Services Industry Corporate India will now sponsor and give complete packages for any lavishly spent Indian Wedding. Match Making To Love Making. Though Love Making as an industry is yet to see a greater demand, the way Indian Weddings are being conducted that day won't be far away either.

Nuisance That Makes Sense ?

May 16, 2007 Posted by Vijay 1 comment
Technology has grown leaps and bounds, spawning millions of jobs, consumer goods, electronic gadgets and what not. It is difficult to imagine a life without technology anymore. People frown upon you, if you don't own a mobile phone or a computer. The inevitable question that comes up is "How Come ?". Well, I had an opportunity to let go of my mobile phone, give it some rest, courtesy a prepaid connection, and double courtesy to BSNL. While I am glad I possess a K510i from Sony Ericsson, I can't say the same about my connection.

Though it is the largest communication service provider with the majority of subscriber base, it always lives up to the reputation of being run by the Government Of India. Why ? Because, the communication is only so-so, the branding is not in line with such a big service provider, and last but not the least, very scratchy service. Can you imagine, a prepaid connection card ending up with a negative currency balance of Rs. 76 and the customer not even realising it ? Well, that was a record which would be tough for me to break, but I did end up getting another negative balance on my card yesterday. Astonishing, that while the same currency let me accept incoming calls, in two hours time, I wasn't able to send/receive calls or messages, because it suddenly got updated with negative 4 rupees balance. There was not even a beeping sound which let me know that my currency is running out. Quite bizarre. The only saving grace my connection provides is its vast area of coverage across the length and breadth of India. No service provider has been able to have so much of penetration. It virtually acts as a GPS for me !

But why do we even discuss all these problems with mobiles, connectivity, low range and so on ? Because we have a mobile phone. Because, we have service providers. Because, we are offered tempting offers by way of providing services. Because we can keep in touch with our dear ones. All these have been enabled by one single invention, the mobile phone. The result ? Quite amazing. The world is almost at our feet one would imagine. Internet, music, movies, chat. You name it, you got it on your mobile. One wonders whether even computers may get obsolete one day !

So, why have a problem with the phones or the service providers ? They make our lives easy. Or that atleast is what its purpose is. But the side-effects of it seem to far outnumber the benefits. It's almost technology backlash. More advanced technology means, more choices of misusing it. Let me list out a few examples of the nuisance value of today's mobiles.

At Meetings

How many times, has one noticed an Aashiq banaaya Ringtone reverberating across huge auditoriums when a CEO/CIO/CTO addresses a large audience of employees ? Or even a project level meeting for that matter ? In spite of constant requests to turn off or put mobiles on silent mode, flaunting the ringtone on one's mobile gets more importance. Irritable would be an understatement when such a thing happens.

At Workplace

At one of our internal project level meetings I had made a request that employees in the project should at all cost put their mobiles in silent mode. Especially so at their workplace. How often have you heard a loud ringtone close to your desk, but the owner of the phone not to be seen around ? Honestly disgusting, for the very name mobile and use of it goes waste, because it lies static rather than being mobile in such cases.

Unsolicited Calls

How often have you received unsolicited calls from a friendly Customer Care Executive trying to sell their loan products from reputed banks ? What would our immediate reaction be ? Either to shout at them, vent our anger at them or derive innovative means to make a fool out of those poor callers, whose livelihood depends on these very calls.

Get Togethers Or Dates

The worst part I have felt, is when I go to meet my friends over dinner, and rather than we having a conversation, they end up getting calls left right and center. If that was the purpose, it might have made more sense having dinner with the caller than those who have gathered for dinner. Just imagine if five friends were to gather for dinner, and all five are hooked up on their mobiles, and having dinner. Would be anyone's delight to witness such a scene !

Technology et al

Finally, technology itself. Porn floating all around the internet, and easy access to sites through mobiles is widespread. High earning couples hand over expensive phones to their kids, and then expect them to use it responsibly. Forgetful of their forgetfulness to bring up their kids appropriately, they blame technology if phones are misused to capture and/or circulate lewd pictures or videos. Argument accepted. But technology is here to stay. Responsibility , better stay !

I am sure the list of nuisance which mobiles have had could extend beyond these points. But, the point to be noted is, technology is here to stay. Man has invented all possible luxuries to seek pleasure and luxuries. For only man made inventions can define the extent of satisfaction one can have through materialistic needs. But to use it or misuse it, is also in man's hands. A cycle which can never be broken, because we realise the good only when evil is around.

May 6, 2007


May 06, 2007 Posted by Vijay No comments
Strange, that the Indian word Asana can actually be dissected and re-modified as A$$-Ana, yet the meaning remains the same. Though the actual meaning in Sanskrit is seat, it of course is something where we need to be using our rear most a$$et on.

Strange, the more we look at it, the more obvious the commonality of a$$ in a$$et and a$$ana. That, my friends is precisely where I want to bring your attention to. Not to be vulgar or offensive as to bring your attention to that specific treasured a$$et. But when a programme is dedicated to whether a famed cricketer is doing the right a$$ana (notice my dollar sign usage. It is meant specifically to hide the obvious reference I mean to make), wouldn't one want to get frustrated, irritated, angry and upset at the time wasted at prime time 9:30 p.m on a Saturday ?

Clearly, Headlines Today doesn't seem to have any news of substance to talk about other than Sachin's A$$anas. It was hilarious to watch the anchor rope in a Yoga expert and give a demonstration of what Sachin is not doing right. It was all action, for a change, but it was clear. Sachin wasn't doing it right, and of course, as a result, the Yoga Instructor of Sachin's wasn't giving the right guidance. Mind you, this also probably meant that the instructor who appeared on the channel would get a shot at getting into the Indian Cricket Team as an instructor !